Well it's Monday again, W.I. for me tonight - my home scales don't look like I've managed the 3lbs I was reallllly hoping for this week, but then to be honest I never really know with them because if I move them even 1/2 inch different then they will change what I weigh, so I'm just going to wait for tonight, and hope for the best!
Anyway I had a really lovely weekend, spent the day at Southsea/Isle of Wight on Saturday and then went to the Cotswold's yesterday, perfect weather, Alex behaved impeccably, and really enjoyed himself, and was just lovely. To top it off, my MIL to be finally said that I was beginning to look slim! I nearly cried when she said it, because I've been waiting for sooo long for her to say it. I know it shouldn't matter because other people have said it, and I know how much I've lost so far, but I've wanted acceptance in a way from her for so long, that it was such a huge huge thing for her to say it to me. So that really made my day. The only downside to the day was that when we went to eat they had salad there which said you could ask to have it how you wanted, and with ham/tuna etc, but the tuna had mayo with it, so I asked if I could have plain tuna, but they said no, asked if I could have salad without pepper's/onions in and they said no, so ended up just glugging water until I got home and had my small 200 cal meal then plus my shake.
Must buy some extra tetras this week for possible days out - as this is why I didn't have anything with me, and to be honest if I'd have taken a bar it would have just melted anyway.
So this week before I weigh in - I can honestly say hand on heart, I have stuck to the plan 100% and started the fybregel too (until the psyillium husks come) - I have had all my water, the small meal each night, 2 bars in the end (one on saturday, one on Thursday) done lots of walking up and down hill, and weights if you include carrying Alex everywhere too! Really learned to relax and enjoy family time again too! And more than that got the compliment from MIL to be! So if the scales don't budge, although I'll be disappointed, I know I have done alllll I can do to help them go in the right direction.
- Update on this I lost 2 1/4lbs this week - not quite the 3lbs - but a better loss than only 1/2lb last week, so I'm happy, I just want the weigh to keep coming off!
Wednesday 3 June 2009
Wednesday 27 May 2009
It got worse...
Well after last weeks W.I. thinking that around the 2lb mark wasn't good enough...I only lost 1/2lb this week! Absolutely distraught with that loss as I have followed the diet to the letter, had all my water etc, so I really don't know what has gone on there!
Felt very down Monday night, but started back on Tuesday morning with renewed confidence and will power (not that I gave in Monday or cheated because I didn't, I just felt very down about it all)
So anyway, now I'm back, I took a couple of Senna tablets last night to try and clear my system on CDC's advice as haven't 'been' for at least a few days now, then I'm going to start on Fybogel but possibly looking into Psyllium Husks as they are more natural.
I've also cut right down on the bars this week. I've bought 3, but intend to only eat 2 of them this week, to see if this makes a difference to my weight loss, I ate one on Monday night, and will probably eat the other one on Thursday, although if I could eat only one this week, then that would be even better!
My aim this week (I don't usually make aims but I think I need to!) is 3lbs, I don't think that's too much to ask for, but I really think I need a big loss this week as I am working sooo hard to get the weight shifted and to lose 3lbs after only 1/2lb this week would make me feel very very happy, and would take me down to 12 stone 4, and just so much closer to being in the 11's, which for me is a huugggge goal... I really want to be in the 11's ASAP!
I only have 6 weigh in's until mum and dad's anniversary meal and if I could average a 2 1/2lb loss a week I would be happy - that would take me down to 11 stone 6...and would be great to be in the middle of the 11's and heading down towards the 10's....ooo scary to think I could even get there, as right now, the 11's and the 10's still feel soooo far away! x
Felt very down Monday night, but started back on Tuesday morning with renewed confidence and will power (not that I gave in Monday or cheated because I didn't, I just felt very down about it all)
So anyway, now I'm back, I took a couple of Senna tablets last night to try and clear my system on CDC's advice as haven't 'been' for at least a few days now, then I'm going to start on Fybogel but possibly looking into Psyllium Husks as they are more natural.
I've also cut right down on the bars this week. I've bought 3, but intend to only eat 2 of them this week, to see if this makes a difference to my weight loss, I ate one on Monday night, and will probably eat the other one on Thursday, although if I could eat only one this week, then that would be even better!
My aim this week (I don't usually make aims but I think I need to!) is 3lbs, I don't think that's too much to ask for, but I really think I need a big loss this week as I am working sooo hard to get the weight shifted and to lose 3lbs after only 1/2lb this week would make me feel very very happy, and would take me down to 12 stone 4, and just so much closer to being in the 11's, which for me is a huugggge goal... I really want to be in the 11's ASAP!
I only have 6 weigh in's until mum and dad's anniversary meal and if I could average a 2 1/2lb loss a week I would be happy - that would take me down to 11 stone 6...and would be great to be in the middle of the 11's and heading down towards the 10's....ooo scary to think I could even get there, as right now, the 11's and the 10's still feel soooo far away! x
Saturday 23 May 2009
Not enjoying this week
Lost 1 3/4lbs at weigh in AGAIN this week - no inches or anything, so again another v slow loss - it seems to be the way for me at the moment, which is quite disheartening in a lot of ways.
Have also come down with a nasty throat/cold now, and Alex has Croup! Not been much fun, and have tried to avoid what I can, but have decided to have soothers just to help my throat as it feels like glass at the moment.
Other problem is my stomach has swollen up from being soo bloated, I look about 6 months pregnant! and definately not! It's looking to be a rubbish W.I. again this week - have been following SS+ but just not getting good big results at the minute and soo wish I was, I really need to get down into the 11's and then the 10's ASAP, to start the Maintenance programme's properly. I think I will stick with SS+ until I get to 11 stone now and then go up to 810 from there, and then work my way up the plans, as SS I think may be too restrictive now, and I think my body and probably my mind needs the work of the food now to start overcoming the issues involved. So as of last weeks weight, of 12 stone 7 1/2 I have to lose another 21 1/2lbs before I start going up the plans towards Maintenance...hhmmm at the rate I'm losing weight that could be another 10/11 weeks (potentially 3rd August) even though I really want to have a week of 1000 before then with my mum's anniversary in July...hhmmm Ohhh I really need this weight loss to speed up again, 2lbs a week is not good enough x
Have also come down with a nasty throat/cold now, and Alex has Croup! Not been much fun, and have tried to avoid what I can, but have decided to have soothers just to help my throat as it feels like glass at the moment.
Other problem is my stomach has swollen up from being soo bloated, I look about 6 months pregnant! and definately not! It's looking to be a rubbish W.I. again this week - have been following SS+ but just not getting good big results at the minute and soo wish I was, I really need to get down into the 11's and then the 10's ASAP, to start the Maintenance programme's properly. I think I will stick with SS+ until I get to 11 stone now and then go up to 810 from there, and then work my way up the plans, as SS I think may be too restrictive now, and I think my body and probably my mind needs the work of the food now to start overcoming the issues involved. So as of last weeks weight, of 12 stone 7 1/2 I have to lose another 21 1/2lbs before I start going up the plans towards Maintenance...hhmmm at the rate I'm losing weight that could be another 10/11 weeks (potentially 3rd August) even though I really want to have a week of 1000 before then with my mum's anniversary in July...hhmmm Ohhh I really need this weight loss to speed up again, 2lbs a week is not good enough x
Sunday 17 May 2009
Mixed Weekend
Well it's been a busy weekend for me.
Yesterday, had my pamper day with my mum, which was lovely, spent the morning using the gym, swimming pool, jacuzzi, sauna etc, had a small lunch out - which turned out the chicken wasn't cooked (suffered today - not good) Came back in the afternoon and had back, neck and shoulder massage, facial and hot wax eyebrows - was absolutely heaven! Really relaxed and enjoyed!
The first time me and mum have been out on our own in a long while, probably since I was pregnant with Alex!
Today, wasn't so nice - not just because of the uncooked chicken!
We did manage to find a nice spot to do Steve (uncle's) ashes, and that was ok, although weather was horrible, but just a sad day in general. Always upsets me seeing my grandparents and mum being upset, but I'm glad it's done if that makes sense.
On the plus side, I had lots of nice comments from people saying how much weight I had lost, as I haven't seen most of them for quite a while, and some since Xmas, so for some it's the full 4 1/2 stone that I've lost since seeing them. Just getting very nervous about W.I. tomorrow now.
Yesterday, had my pamper day with my mum, which was lovely, spent the morning using the gym, swimming pool, jacuzzi, sauna etc, had a small lunch out - which turned out the chicken wasn't cooked (suffered today - not good) Came back in the afternoon and had back, neck and shoulder massage, facial and hot wax eyebrows - was absolutely heaven! Really relaxed and enjoyed!
The first time me and mum have been out on our own in a long while, probably since I was pregnant with Alex!
Today, wasn't so nice - not just because of the uncooked chicken!
We did manage to find a nice spot to do Steve (uncle's) ashes, and that was ok, although weather was horrible, but just a sad day in general. Always upsets me seeing my grandparents and mum being upset, but I'm glad it's done if that makes sense.
On the plus side, I had lots of nice comments from people saying how much weight I had lost, as I haven't seen most of them for quite a while, and some since Xmas, so for some it's the full 4 1/2 stone that I've lost since seeing them. Just getting very nervous about W.I. tomorrow now.
Wednesday 13 May 2009
Reality Check
Had a bit of a reality check today - really looking forward to Lee-Anne and Matt's wedding in late November/early December, and everything says I should be AT my goal by then, but I'm already terrified of what I'm going to wear. Instant reaction is to go for something black and frumpy to 'cover up', but I know I shouldn't be doing that. Every wedding I've ever been to, I've been the one looking at all the beautiful girls with the pretty dresses, wishing that was me. If or rather when I hit my goal, that should be me too, yet I'm already thinking, 'no it won't suit me, I can't wear that' and so on. I think my demons are already creeping back in and stopping me from seeing the changes that must and are already occuring, because I've lost 8 inches off my waist, and clothes that did used to fit are falling off now - I just can't see the change as much as other's in the mirror, or in photo's - but this stage must come, and this is part of the reason for me writing this blog more now than ever, so that I can know myself that the weight is coming off. I'm 2 1/4lbs from losing 4 1/2 stone - to some people that is incredible - yet to me, it is just the start - that sounds crazy, even to me, it's like I have two people in me, one saying you've done well, be proud! and the other saying, you're not there, if you feel 'proud' of yourself then you might give in, you might not get there, so you can't be proud in case you then don't get to goal...hhmmm maybe that's it - maybe that is the cracking point? Maybe if I do accept the fact that 4 1/2 stone is a lot to have lost and be proud of myself now, I am just scared of not getting any further, and so being 'proud' of myself is like admitting I can't do anymore? I won't be able to go on and hit my goal, and ultimately that is my worst fear. To never see 10st 1 on the scales of a healthy BMI is terrifying to me, and then to never get under that to have a few lbs to be able to fluctuate with that scares me too.
Perhaps I've had a bit of a break through today.
Food for thought I guess for me to ponder on.
x
Perhaps I've had a bit of a break through today.
Food for thought I guess for me to ponder on.
x
Monday 11 May 2009
weigh in :)
Well after all my panicking this week, I managed to lose 3 1/4lbs and I'm now down to 12 stone 9 1/4lbs - and lost 1 1/4 inches off my waist, making it a 33 1/2 inch waist down from 41 inches! Pretty ok.
Plan for this week an 810 meal for tonight, SS Tues - Thurs, then 810 Friday and Saturday for the Gym workout on Saturday with the Pamper Day (looking forward to but will miss my boys) and the SS on Sunday before WI on Monday. Hoping for a 2 1/2lb week this week, taking me to just under 12 st 7 and then heading down after that to under 12 stone and into the 11's...ok one goal at a time! one week at a time!
Plan for this week an 810 meal for tonight, SS Tues - Thurs, then 810 Friday and Saturday for the Gym workout on Saturday with the Pamper Day (looking forward to but will miss my boys) and the SS on Sunday before WI on Monday. Hoping for a 2 1/2lb week this week, taking me to just under 12 st 7 and then heading down after that to under 12 stone and into the 11's...ok one goal at a time! one week at a time!
Another D -Day for scales
Well another Monday morning has arrived, and I must do my Assignment today - the motivation really isn't there today though, and it's just GOT to be now, but my mind is already set on 'THE' scales tonight. I would so love it to be 2lbs + after switching from 810 back down to Sole Source on Friday.
The strange thing is, I'm sat here watching This Morning, and on the total opposite scale to me, is a 5ft 9 girl, who is on Britains Next Top Model, and at her lightest she was 6 1/2 stone - she is now only just over 7 stone - all I can think is ouch! It's amazing that in this world, there can only be very very few people who are actually comfortable with their weight. So many of us battling to get slim, so many of us battling to get a little bigger - will there ever be a 'normal/comfortable' weight for me? Will I get to 9 stone 10, and think yes I look good now? Will people around me agree? If they do/don't will that affect me? I'm beginning to think for the next 3 stone I really do need to work on my own personal issues with my weight and everything surrounding it, and build on my confidence a lot more, so that when I do reach my personal figures, I can hopefully stop and feel happy in what I have achieved. 4 stone down so far is good, and I should feel happy, and I know some people around me are, but I can also tell some other's aren't and that affects me still, and it shouldn't because I'm getting healthy for me, for my family, and to be happy/healthy/feel confident for me and them, and not for anyone else or to be approved by anyone else....I just have to work on all this.
The strange thing is, I'm sat here watching This Morning, and on the total opposite scale to me, is a 5ft 9 girl, who is on Britains Next Top Model, and at her lightest she was 6 1/2 stone - she is now only just over 7 stone - all I can think is ouch! It's amazing that in this world, there can only be very very few people who are actually comfortable with their weight. So many of us battling to get slim, so many of us battling to get a little bigger - will there ever be a 'normal/comfortable' weight for me? Will I get to 9 stone 10, and think yes I look good now? Will people around me agree? If they do/don't will that affect me? I'm beginning to think for the next 3 stone I really do need to work on my own personal issues with my weight and everything surrounding it, and build on my confidence a lot more, so that when I do reach my personal figures, I can hopefully stop and feel happy in what I have achieved. 4 stone down so far is good, and I should feel happy, and I know some people around me are, but I can also tell some other's aren't and that affects me still, and it shouldn't because I'm getting healthy for me, for my family, and to be happy/healthy/feel confident for me and them, and not for anyone else or to be approved by anyone else....I just have to work on all this.
Sunday 10 May 2009
Back to Sole Source
Well after 11 days of doing 810, I'm back to sole source now, I've been on it for 3 days, back to the headaches and keto breath today, so I think the Ketosis is slowly beginning to kick in again. Scales were hardly moving, actually they were going up on Friday (arrrhhhh!!!) so made the decision for me to go back down the plans, as I'm not ready for the slow losses yet!
Last week I weighed in at 12 stone 12 1/2, which I haven't done since sometime in 2005, I remember it as I had a depo injection at that weight - and that's when the weight started to plummet on!
Chris's sister Lee-Anne got engaged last weekend, so popped in to see her, his mum etc today. Lee-Anne is planning to have a late November/early December wedding, and I really really want to be able to, for the first time in a long time, wear something nice, and be at goal, and maintaining by then! I would love to be at goal and maintaining by my Birthday but with the losses really having slowed down now, I just can't see it happening :-( I really want to feel like a 'normal' 22 year old (coming onto 23 year old) again and get back to a 'normal' weight range. I hate being overweight, and even more so being labelled as 'obese'. I know being 'overweight' is my fault, but the obese problem was started from the depo injections, plus steroids, and having Polycystic Ovaries doesn't help the situation aswell.
It's nice to have some people finally noticing the weight is coming off now, and seeing that I am determined to have the weight come off, and more importantly stay off, but I do feel that for some people I will never get the comment that perhaps I would like, but I have to be happy that my family are standing by me, and Chris is my rock. Without him, would I have got this far? I don't know - I would like to think I have the strength to do this on my own or with him, but he really is a great motivator without being in anyway pushy.
Well, it's weigh in day tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to it, but I just hope that it may be lbs down rather than up.
I also want the inches to keep going down, as the sizes in clothes don't seem to be dropping very quickly either.
Last week I weighed in at 12 stone 12 1/2, which I haven't done since sometime in 2005, I remember it as I had a depo injection at that weight - and that's when the weight started to plummet on!
Chris's sister Lee-Anne got engaged last weekend, so popped in to see her, his mum etc today. Lee-Anne is planning to have a late November/early December wedding, and I really really want to be able to, for the first time in a long time, wear something nice, and be at goal, and maintaining by then! I would love to be at goal and maintaining by my Birthday but with the losses really having slowed down now, I just can't see it happening :-( I really want to feel like a 'normal' 22 year old (coming onto 23 year old) again and get back to a 'normal' weight range. I hate being overweight, and even more so being labelled as 'obese'. I know being 'overweight' is my fault, but the obese problem was started from the depo injections, plus steroids, and having Polycystic Ovaries doesn't help the situation aswell.
It's nice to have some people finally noticing the weight is coming off now, and seeing that I am determined to have the weight come off, and more importantly stay off, but I do feel that for some people I will never get the comment that perhaps I would like, but I have to be happy that my family are standing by me, and Chris is my rock. Without him, would I have got this far? I don't know - I would like to think I have the strength to do this on my own or with him, but he really is a great motivator without being in anyway pushy.
Well, it's weigh in day tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to it, but I just hope that it may be lbs down rather than up.
I also want the inches to keep going down, as the sizes in clothes don't seem to be dropping very quickly either.
Friday 8 May 2009
The Start of May - and Slow Down
Well it's now May 8th, and my weight is realy slowing down, which isn't great, but I'm achieving things bit by bit, I'm finally in the 12 stone mark! wooohooo ! I finally weighed in on Monday at 12 stone 12 1/2 and a 34 3/4 inch waist (down from 41 inch at the beginning). The losses have really slowed down, this is the only problem, Tracey put me up to 810 last week, after only losing 1 3/4lbs but I lost the same this week, which isn't good...could really have lost the same on WW and I still have 3 stone to lose...I've done another 810 week this week, but after standing on the scales this morning and them moving 1/2lb UP!! I am going back down to sole source today. It is TOTM and that no doubt isn't helping, but I know these small losses are not helping me, and I really want to speed them up again. I will go back to 810 or ss+ maybe when I touch the 10 Stone 13 Mark and so have a lot less to lose at that point.
My nan worries about the 'not eating' aspect of the diet, and panics I'll end up anorexic or something silly, but I love my food, and have really enjoyed eating 810, but I really need to get to goal in the quickest way possible, my bank account cannot afford for me to take very long to get there, and if it goes on at under 2lbs a week, then I won't be able to afford to complete the Cambridge Diet, and I'm then terrified of not being able to complete the maintenance stages and putting it on - my absolute dread of this whole process. My mind is in the right place still, I just want to shift the next few stone and see the rest of the changes to get to goal.
On another shift to things, Chris's job comes up for review in September (hence the money worry) and the closer it gets the more I am beginning to worry, I wish we had money to save to put away, but we just don't, and this is more the reason, I have only one chance to get the Cambridge Diet right, and get it done, for good, and eat healthy for life. I really want him to keep his job more than anything right now but with 19,000 jobs going it's such a big big worry.
Anyway I'm going to try to upload a before and now photo (the before photo wasn't quite at my biggest, it was probably around the 16 stone ish mark)
Thursday 9 April 2009
size drop !!! wooohooo!!
After slumming it in my baggy size 18 jeans for the past few weeks, I finally decided to 'brave it' this morning and try on the size 16's that nan bought me for my birthday last September, there was no way I was getting them on last year, and even in February couldn't get them on, so was expecting disappointment again, but NOOOO I got them ON! They fit, with EASE, and with a BELT tooo, soooo very very pleased :)
Still longing for the day I'll be able to get into a 10-12 again but for now, for today I am a very happy girl to get down into a 16 again :)
My next two goals are to get into the 12 stone Mark and then to get to 12 stone 3, which is what Chris's highest weight was when he started, obviously still not great weights, but a lifetime away from starting at an elephant-like 17 stone (it makes me feel physically sick to say that figure or even type it, I am ashamed and embarrased to have ever got to that size/weight. Even though I can't see much of a difference in the mirror, and I wish I could, there must be a big difference as I have lost over 2 Alex's in weight so far! The future still worries me with what to do with contraception and so on, as I know how badly it affects my weight, but I will have to deal with that when it comes to it. I still don't have normal monthlies as it is, so there is no point in even considering anything at this moment in time. For now I just want to keep going down the scales, for right now, at this moment in time, I still find it very hard to believe I will ever see 10 stone 1 - my BMI goal, or 9 stone 10 - my personal goal on the scales, as much as I really really want to.)
Still longing for the day I'll be able to get into a 10-12 again but for now, for today I am a very happy girl to get down into a 16 again :)
My next two goals are to get into the 12 stone Mark and then to get to 12 stone 3, which is what Chris's highest weight was when he started, obviously still not great weights, but a lifetime away from starting at an elephant-like 17 stone (it makes me feel physically sick to say that figure or even type it, I am ashamed and embarrased to have ever got to that size/weight. Even though I can't see much of a difference in the mirror, and I wish I could, there must be a big difference as I have lost over 2 Alex's in weight so far! The future still worries me with what to do with contraception and so on, as I know how badly it affects my weight, but I will have to deal with that when it comes to it. I still don't have normal monthlies as it is, so there is no point in even considering anything at this moment in time. For now I just want to keep going down the scales, for right now, at this moment in time, I still find it very hard to believe I will ever see 10 stone 1 - my BMI goal, or 9 stone 10 - my personal goal on the scales, as much as I really really want to.)
Wednesday 8 April 2009
Updated and More Reasons to lose Weight
- Make Chris Proud
- Make family proud
- Feel better in sleeveless or short sleeve top
- Look ok in swimwear
- Fit into designer clothing
- Look better in pictures
- Move attention from flab to figure
- Live healthier life
- Be able to run in a charity event.
- Wear a wider style range of clothing (not just what fits)
- Wear dresses/skirts with confidence
- Be able to swim in public and not care
- Reduce chances of getting bigger
- Not feel awkward when clothes shopping
- Increase chances of shops having your size in store
- Walk along a beach on holiday and feel proud of your body in swimwear
- Stop jiggling!
- Like your own reflection
- The smaller you are, the cheaper it is to get drunk lol
- Walk up hills and not want to sit down half way up it
- Sunbath in public
- Buy lingerie without getting weird looks
- When people start talking about weight loss, not to feel like they mean you
- Make friends/family pleased that you are doing something about your weight, not just talking about it
- Be happy to be photographed
- Wear a bra that actually fits
- Show off legs, not monstor ham thighs
- Don't fear onset of summer clothing
- Say weight out loud with pride
- Help other overweight people who are in the same situation you where
- Don't wonder if people are saying "Why is HE with HER?"
- Go out in public and not care what looks you get
- Wear a low cut sweater and show your collerbones
- Wear shorts in the summer
- Increase feelings of self worth
- GET ON WITH LIFE AND ENJOY IT!!!
Tuesday 7 April 2009
Post Holiday :)
Well again, time has taken over and I haven't had much chance to update my blog, but here goes.
Well I went away on holiday and did 810 calories for a week, came back and weighed in and lost 4 3/4lbs! Very very pleased with that. It takes me down to 13 st 7 1/2. So I'm about half way there now to my BMI and then probably about another 4lbs after that to the weight I'd like to be, to be comfy at, 9 stone 10 ish - I don't remember ever seeing 9 stone something on the scales, so it would be a shock to see it one day!
10stone 1 is my aim to hit my healthy BMI and is my first and biggest aim, 3 stone 7 1/2lbs to go for that, which after having 7 stone to lose, seems a lot lot less to go now, although still a long way to go.
Have a big family gathering for a sad event, to scatter my uncle's ashes in May, and would really like to shift another stone by then, if not a bit more would be nice, just to really give that shock factor to those people that I wont have seen since Xmas when I was that SHOCKING and HORRID 17 stone! :( NEVER EVER AGAIN !
My little boy alex has Gastroenteritis at the moment, so is really poorly, and I feel really sorry for him, hoping he will improve in the next few days. (get well soon little man, mummy loves you lots and lots!! xxxx)
Well I went away on holiday and did 810 calories for a week, came back and weighed in and lost 4 3/4lbs! Very very pleased with that. It takes me down to 13 st 7 1/2. So I'm about half way there now to my BMI and then probably about another 4lbs after that to the weight I'd like to be, to be comfy at, 9 stone 10 ish - I don't remember ever seeing 9 stone something on the scales, so it would be a shock to see it one day!
10stone 1 is my aim to hit my healthy BMI and is my first and biggest aim, 3 stone 7 1/2lbs to go for that, which after having 7 stone to lose, seems a lot lot less to go now, although still a long way to go.
Have a big family gathering for a sad event, to scatter my uncle's ashes in May, and would really like to shift another stone by then, if not a bit more would be nice, just to really give that shock factor to those people that I wont have seen since Xmas when I was that SHOCKING and HORRID 17 stone! :( NEVER EVER AGAIN !
My little boy alex has Gastroenteritis at the moment, so is really poorly, and I feel really sorry for him, hoping he will improve in the next few days. (get well soon little man, mummy loves you lots and lots!! xxxx)
Monday 9 March 2009
A well needed update!
Well I guess I haven't updated for a while, not all that sure why, maybe I was still updated at the weight I was, maybe I just needed to "black out" a few of those figures. Whatever it was, I feel I am now coming to accept the weight I am, and hopefully the weight I am going to be.
As of today, the 9th March 2009 I have lost 2 Stone 9 1/4lbs and I now weigh 14 stone 4 3/4's - still not a pretty weight at all, but much better than my starting weight that's for sure.
I aim to go away and be 13 stone something and come back and be 13 stone something, and then fight down to the 12 stone's and beyond.
My clothes are much looser than they ever have been, my skin is better than it ever has been, and I feel fitter than I ever have been. I cannot and will not give up now. I just want to get to goal, and I want to, for once in my life, set a goal, and ACHIEVE my goal.
I want to stand on the scales and actually see the figures that I have set myself!
As of today, the 9th March 2009 I have lost 2 Stone 9 1/4lbs and I now weigh 14 stone 4 3/4's - still not a pretty weight at all, but much better than my starting weight that's for sure.
I aim to go away and be 13 stone something and come back and be 13 stone something, and then fight down to the 12 stone's and beyond.
My clothes are much looser than they ever have been, my skin is better than it ever has been, and I feel fitter than I ever have been. I cannot and will not give up now. I just want to get to goal, and I want to, for once in my life, set a goal, and ACHIEVE my goal.
I want to stand on the scales and actually see the figures that I have set myself!
Friday 23 January 2009
half way through week 2 plus w.i.
Well it's Friday - I should have posted on here on Monday but I was so down, I lost 1lb for the whole of week 2 and felt horrible :(
Well I didn't binge or come off it at all, if anything I've been even stricter if that's possible.
Scales today are not looking that great, and don't know why :( I know if the scales show a very small loss, or even a gain or STS on Monday I will be so disheartened, and from then that will make it harder to continue on.
I really want 3lbs+ though if I had 4 or 5lbs I would be very happy, going to have to really keep at it this weekend, as every type of food is calling to me. xx
Well I didn't binge or come off it at all, if anything I've been even stricter if that's possible.
Scales today are not looking that great, and don't know why :( I know if the scales show a very small loss, or even a gain or STS on Monday I will be so disheartened, and from then that will make it harder to continue on.
I really want 3lbs+ though if I had 4 or 5lbs I would be very happy, going to have to really keep at it this weekend, as every type of food is calling to me. xx
Thursday 15 January 2009
1 1/2 Weeks in...
Well, 3 litres of water down today, had my 3 shakes, 1 fruits of the forest, 1 leek and potato and chicken and mushroom.
But tonight, for the first real time in starting the Cambridge Diet I feel mentally hungry and wish I could have a bit of baguette with butter on. It's carbs though and a definite not allowed thing, so I am here writing my blog to make sure I don't deviate at all. I really don't want to cave in and am on this journey to lose the weight because I want to be healthy and fit for me and my family. I want to feel good and be around for my son and my fiancee, I want to look good, and not be embarrassed about my weight anymore.
I am hoping for a nice loss on Monday, 4lbs would be nice, but anything 3+lbs would be good!
I know why I am doing this diet and what my focus points are, and quitting is NOT an option.xx
But tonight, for the first real time in starting the Cambridge Diet I feel mentally hungry and wish I could have a bit of baguette with butter on. It's carbs though and a definite not allowed thing, so I am here writing my blog to make sure I don't deviate at all. I really don't want to cave in and am on this journey to lose the weight because I want to be healthy and fit for me and my family. I want to feel good and be around for my son and my fiancee, I want to look good, and not be embarrassed about my weight anymore.
I am hoping for a nice loss on Monday, 4lbs would be nice, but anything 3+lbs would be good!
I know why I am doing this diet and what my focus points are, and quitting is NOT an option.xx
Monday 12 January 2009
Yeyyyy its working!
After a hard week, lots and lots of water, shakes and soups, I had my W.I. tonight and lost 6 3/4lbs! I am one very happy girlie! xx
Sunday 11 January 2009
Sweating...
for 2 reasons today
1- I have my first official W.I. tomorrow - and I am sooo scared what it's going to be, I know I have 100% stuck to it this week, and have drunk all the water etc, but from sneaking a peek at the scales at home they just aren't showing the result I would like 4+lbs off.
and
2- We bough a WiiFit yesterday so although I can't do as much 'full on' exercise as Chris, I'm still pulling my weight (quite literally) to try and help the scales move downwards- although I've been told that exercise can affect ketosis - I'm not too sure how, but something I definately need to keep an eye on.
Anyway it's been an O.K. few days have drunk lots of water, used my packs as I should do. The only downside is the anti-biotics I'm on and the chest infection I've had, has caused me to vomit a few times (definately not so good).
Fingers crossed for tomorrow! light thoughts please!
1- I have my first official W.I. tomorrow - and I am sooo scared what it's going to be, I know I have 100% stuck to it this week, and have drunk all the water etc, but from sneaking a peek at the scales at home they just aren't showing the result I would like 4+lbs off.
and
2- We bough a WiiFit yesterday so although I can't do as much 'full on' exercise as Chris, I'm still pulling my weight (quite literally) to try and help the scales move downwards- although I've been told that exercise can affect ketosis - I'm not too sure how, but something I definately need to keep an eye on.
Anyway it's been an O.K. few days have drunk lots of water, used my packs as I should do. The only downside is the anti-biotics I'm on and the chest infection I've had, has caused me to vomit a few times (definately not so good).
Fingers crossed for tomorrow! light thoughts please!
Wednesday 7 January 2009
Sweet and Sour Chicken...
That's what they all ate in front of me today -not there fault (mum, Chris etc) because they are allowed to eat, but for me it's sooo hard. I tested this morning and definately into ketosis now, which is a really good thing!
I'm not phyically hungry at all, and have made my last meal today a hot choc shake after last night's soup, because I'm just not hungry still, and in a way have to force it down me, even though if someone offered me KFC, I'm sure I could eat it...but I guess that's where my thoughts have to change, I am losing weight of my own choice, and it is my decision to abstain from food, though sometimes it just doesn't feel that way.
I am about to watch the Claire Sweeney programme about eating badly all the time, and hopefully it will help my motivation back to tip top condition. I have 11 weeks and 4 days until I can even sniff at a small meal again, and I'm detemined but know it is going to be very hard work.
My list of reasdons for losing weight:
- to be healthy for Alex and Chris and my family
- to look good, dressed or undressed
- to fit into a nice size clothes, and feel that clothes shopping is a good thing again.
- to build up my very shattered confidence
- to not go out and eat something and people be thinking, she shouldn't be eating that, she should be on the salad
- to re-train my head and everything in it that some bad food is ok on occasion, but to be healthy and feel healthy is much more important rather than see not having a jaffa cake every day as a terrible thing.
- to look good in a bikini (or at least better than now) and feel good in it too.
- to prove all the people who believe I won't do it, or wont keep it off that I can and I will.
- to be "me" once again :(
(I'll add to this when I think of any more) xx
I'm not phyically hungry at all, and have made my last meal today a hot choc shake after last night's soup, because I'm just not hungry still, and in a way have to force it down me, even though if someone offered me KFC, I'm sure I could eat it...but I guess that's where my thoughts have to change, I am losing weight of my own choice, and it is my decision to abstain from food, though sometimes it just doesn't feel that way.
I am about to watch the Claire Sweeney programme about eating badly all the time, and hopefully it will help my motivation back to tip top condition. I have 11 weeks and 4 days until I can even sniff at a small meal again, and I'm detemined but know it is going to be very hard work.
My list of reasdons for losing weight:
- to be healthy for Alex and Chris and my family
- to look good, dressed or undressed
- to fit into a nice size clothes, and feel that clothes shopping is a good thing again.
- to build up my very shattered confidence
- to not go out and eat something and people be thinking, she shouldn't be eating that, she should be on the salad
- to re-train my head and everything in it that some bad food is ok on occasion, but to be healthy and feel healthy is much more important rather than see not having a jaffa cake every day as a terrible thing.
- to look good in a bikini (or at least better than now) and feel good in it too.
- to prove all the people who believe I won't do it, or wont keep it off that I can and I will.
- to be "me" once again :(
(I'll add to this when I think of any more) xx
Tuesday 6 January 2009
Day 3 Blues
not feeling hungry really, and v close to 1.5 litres of water so far, but the headaches really kicking in now...I'd love some energy back soon, as not getting much done at the moment.
Yawning as I type this and my monkey has just woken up, so no chance of a sneaky nap for me either.
Have had a strawberry shake for brekkie, and that was quite nice though think id prefer it colder - so may try ice next time.
My ear is all blocked from me blowing my nose so much with this cold, just wish it would go away and take the headaches away with it!
Bring on ketosis and the headaches going and getting some energy back??? please...x
Yawning as I type this and my monkey has just woken up, so no chance of a sneaky nap for me either.
Have had a strawberry shake for brekkie, and that was quite nice though think id prefer it colder - so may try ice next time.
My ear is all blocked from me blowing my nose so much with this cold, just wish it would go away and take the headaches away with it!
Bring on ketosis and the headaches going and getting some energy back??? please...x
Monday 5 January 2009
day 2 - evening!
Well, I've been to CDC, and stocked up now on shakes, soups and a porridge too...who knows what that will be like?
On a majorrrrr positive!! since I weighed in with CDC before Xmas, I am now 3lbs lighter!! wooo and also 1 inch off my waist! Here's to plenty more of it coming off!
Had a choco mint shake for tonight, had it hot again so I'm glad I bought those ones.
Hopefully the other soups and shakes will be lovely too!
Also got shaker bottle and water flavours, so hopefully, that will keep me on the straight and narrow with my water...yum!
Fingers crossed not too long until get into ketosis now, and feel the energy surge...fingers crossed...also got my appt for w.i. next monday at 8.30 pm...how I'd love to lose 9lbs and be into the next stone bracket...pweeeeeez...or even very close to it!xx
On a majorrrrr positive!! since I weighed in with CDC before Xmas, I am now 3lbs lighter!! wooo and also 1 inch off my waist! Here's to plenty more of it coming off!
Had a choco mint shake for tonight, had it hot again so I'm glad I bought those ones.
Hopefully the other soups and shakes will be lovely too!
Also got shaker bottle and water flavours, so hopefully, that will keep me on the straight and narrow with my water...yum!
Fingers crossed not too long until get into ketosis now, and feel the energy surge...fingers crossed...also got my appt for w.i. next monday at 8.30 pm...how I'd love to lose 9lbs and be into the next stone bracket...pweeeeeez...or even very close to it!xx
Day 2
Well day 2 is nearly down, and I'm off to see my counsellor tonight (tracy) for some more shakes, advice etc at 8. (this is if I last that long the cold has really entailed me and I still feel like poo)
I am wondering whether or not the light headedness I'm getting including like stars in my eyes if I do anything too quickly is from the CD or something else, either way I hope it passes quickly as I'm a bit worried about it at the moment.
Today I have had choc orange - def not as nice as the choc mint, and so far this evening I've had a chicken and mushroom soup which after it being wayyy too thick yesterday, was nice today as I have thinned it out a bit more. I am so far up to almost 1.5 litres - not great but getting there slowly, and soooo can't wait til week 3 when I can have the water flavours...
No beechams or anything today, so bring on ketosis...I can't wait to hopefully feel good!
11 weeks 6 days to go on SS then AAMW and holiday yayy!!
I am wondering whether or not the light headedness I'm getting including like stars in my eyes if I do anything too quickly is from the CD or something else, either way I hope it passes quickly as I'm a bit worried about it at the moment.
Today I have had choc orange - def not as nice as the choc mint, and so far this evening I've had a chicken and mushroom soup which after it being wayyy too thick yesterday, was nice today as I have thinned it out a bit more. I am so far up to almost 1.5 litres - not great but getting there slowly, and soooo can't wait til week 3 when I can have the water flavours...
No beechams or anything today, so bring on ketosis...I can't wait to hopefully feel good!
11 weeks 6 days to go on SS then AAMW and holiday yayy!!
Sunday 4 January 2009
The first day to the "new me"
...or the me hiding inside, something like that anyway!
Woke up feeling terrible, full of cold/flu, so really not in the mood to start my day 1 of cambridge, but non the less, I've started. I have had a choco mint (hot) for brekkie, although that ended up being around 12pm, shortly followed by a soup - leak and potato - which I definately wont be having again as really did taste like wallpaper paste! I have chicken and mushroom for tea, so I'm really hoping that perhaps that one will be a lot nicer.
**Choco Mint was actually quite nice though!
Apart from feeling rough from being ill, so far so good, bit worried if I can't eat them all, will I still lose, but hey, lets hope so!
12 weeks tomorrow til we go away for the week for Chris's birthday, and looking forward to it, but I just hope I have enough weight off to enjoy it, if it's true it's a stone a month, then I should have 3 stone off, but secretly I guess I'd quite like 4 off, then the other 3 when I get back.
Fingers crossed... day 1 almost down, 83 to go for SS...and already thinking about my first weigh in. xx
Woke up feeling terrible, full of cold/flu, so really not in the mood to start my day 1 of cambridge, but non the less, I've started. I have had a choco mint (hot) for brekkie, although that ended up being around 12pm, shortly followed by a soup - leak and potato - which I definately wont be having again as really did taste like wallpaper paste! I have chicken and mushroom for tea, so I'm really hoping that perhaps that one will be a lot nicer.
**Choco Mint was actually quite nice though!
Apart from feeling rough from being ill, so far so good, bit worried if I can't eat them all, will I still lose, but hey, lets hope so!
12 weeks tomorrow til we go away for the week for Chris's birthday, and looking forward to it, but I just hope I have enough weight off to enjoy it, if it's true it's a stone a month, then I should have 3 stone off, but secretly I guess I'd quite like 4 off, then the other 3 when I get back.
Fingers crossed... day 1 almost down, 83 to go for SS...and already thinking about my first weigh in. xx
Friday 2 January 2009
New Year, new me,
Well I went to Tracey's on the Friday and she was as lovely as I had expected, although I was really nervous. We talked through the Sole Source and have decided this is the best option for me. I start on Sunday 4th January 2009...wow!
I have been preparing since then for the diet, and have cut out crisps/chocolates/biscuits etc cut right down on any drinks and upping my water lots! which I am finding difficult!
I have one more day until I start the SS, as am now starting on the 4th January instead of the 5th. I will then have 12 weeks exactly until my break away with Chris and Alex...so 12 weeks of SS and then will have a week of add a meal.
One more day of Slimfast and then the real work begins...wish me luck!! x
I have been preparing since then for the diet, and have cut out crisps/chocolates/biscuits etc cut right down on any drinks and upping my water lots! which I am finding difficult!
I have one more day until I start the SS, as am now starting on the 4th January instead of the 5th. I will then have 12 weeks exactly until my break away with Chris and Alex...so 12 weeks of SS and then will have a week of add a meal.
One more day of Slimfast and then the real work begins...wish me luck!! x
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