Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Sweet and Sour Chicken...

That's what they all ate in front of me today -not there fault (mum, Chris etc) because they are allowed to eat, but for me it's sooo hard. I tested this morning and definately into ketosis now, which is a really good thing!

I'm not phyically hungry at all, and have made my last meal today a hot choc shake after last night's soup, because I'm just not hungry still, and in a way have to force it down me, even though if someone offered me KFC, I'm sure I could eat it...but I guess that's where my thoughts have to change, I am losing weight of my own choice, and it is my decision to abstain from food, though sometimes it just doesn't feel that way.

I am about to watch the Claire Sweeney programme about eating badly all the time, and hopefully it will help my motivation back to tip top condition. I have 11 weeks and 4 days until I can even sniff at a small meal again, and I'm detemined but know it is going to be very hard work.

My list of reasdons for losing weight:
- to be healthy for Alex and Chris and my family
- to look good, dressed or undressed
- to fit into a nice size clothes, and feel that clothes shopping is a good thing again.
- to build up my very shattered confidence
- to not go out and eat something and people be thinking, she shouldn't be eating that, she should be on the salad
- to re-train my head and everything in it that some bad food is ok on occasion, but to be healthy and feel healthy is much more important rather than see not having a jaffa cake every day as a terrible thing.
- to look good in a bikini (or at least better than now) and feel good in it too.
- to prove all the people who believe I won't do it, or wont keep it off that I can and I will.
- to be "me" once again :(

(I'll add to this when I think of any more) xx

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