Back to Sole Source

Well after 11 days of doing 810, I'm back to sole source now, I've been on it for 3 days, back to the headaches and keto breath today, so I think the Ketosis is slowly beginning to kick in again. Scales were hardly moving, actually they were going up on Friday (arrrhhhh!!!) so made the decision for me to go back down the plans, as I'm not ready for the slow losses yet!
Last week I weighed in at 12 stone 12 1/2, which I haven't done since sometime in 2005, I remember it as I had a depo injection at that weight - and that's when the weight started to plummet on!

Chris's sister Lee-Anne got engaged last weekend, so popped in to see her, his mum etc today. Lee-Anne is planning to have a late November/early December wedding, and I really really want to be able to, for the first time in a long time, wear something nice, and be at goal, and maintaining by then! I would love to be at goal and maintaining by my Birthday but with the losses really having slowed down now, I just can't see it happening :-( I really want to feel like a 'normal' 22 year old (coming onto 23 year old) again and get back to a 'normal' weight range. I hate being overweight, and even more so being labelled as 'obese'. I know being 'overweight' is my fault, but the obese problem was started from the depo injections, plus steroids, and having Polycystic Ovaries doesn't help the situation aswell.

It's nice to have some people finally noticing the weight is coming off now, and seeing that I am determined to have the weight come off, and more importantly stay off, but I do feel that for some people I will never get the comment that perhaps I would like, but I have to be happy that my family are standing by me, and Chris is my rock. Without him, would I have got this far? I don't know - I would like to think I have the strength to do this on my own or with him, but he really is a great motivator without being in anyway pushy.

Well, it's weigh in day tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to it, but I just hope that it may be lbs down rather than up.

I also want the inches to keep going down, as the sizes in clothes don't seem to be dropping very quickly either.

The Start of May - and Slow Down

Well it's now May 8th, and my weight is realy slowing down, which isn't great, but I'm achieving things bit by bit, I'm finally in the 12 stone mark! wooohooo ! I finally weighed in on Monday at 12 stone 12 1/2 and a 34 3/4 inch waist (down from 41 inch at the beginning). The losses have really slowed down, this is the only problem, Tracey put me up to 810 last week, after only losing 1 3/4lbs but I lost the same this week, which isn't good...could really have lost the same on WW and I still have 3 stone to lose...I've done another 810 week this week, but after standing on the scales this morning and them moving 1/2lb UP!! I am going back down to sole source today. It is TOTM and that no doubt isn't helping, but I know these small losses are not helping me, and I really want to speed them up again. I will go back to 810 or ss+ maybe when I touch the 10 Stone 13 Mark and so have a lot less to lose at that point.

My nan worries about the 'not eating' aspect of the diet, and panics I'll end up anorexic or something silly, but I love my food, and have really enjoyed eating 810, but I really need to get to goal in the quickest way possible, my bank account cannot afford for me to take very long to get there, and if it goes on at under 2lbs a week, then I won't be able to afford to complete the Cambridge Diet, and I'm then terrified of not being able to complete the maintenance stages and putting it on - my absolute dread of this whole process. My mind is in the right place still, I just want to shift the next few stone and see the rest of the changes to get to goal.

On another shift to things, Chris's job comes up for review in September (hence the money worry) and the closer it gets the more I am beginning to worry, I wish we had money to save to put away, but we just don't, and this is more the reason, I have only one chance to get the Cambridge Diet right, and get it done, for good, and eat healthy for life. I really want him to keep his job more than anything right now but with 19,000 jobs going it's such a big big worry.

Anyway I'm going to try to upload a before and now photo (the before photo wasn't quite at my biggest, it was probably around the 16 stone ish mark)

size drop !!! wooohooo!!

After slumming it in my baggy size 18 jeans for the past few weeks, I finally decided to 'brave it' this morning and try on the size 16's that nan bought me for my birthday last September, there was no way I was getting them on last year, and even in February couldn't get them on, so was expecting disappointment again, but NOOOO I got them ON! They fit, with EASE, and with a BELT tooo, soooo very very pleased :)

Still longing for the day I'll be able to get into a 10-12 again but for now, for today I am a very happy girl to get down into a 16 again :)

My next two goals are to get into the 12 stone Mark and then to get to 12 stone 3, which is what Chris's highest weight was when he started, obviously still not great weights, but a lifetime away from starting at an elephant-like 17 stone (it makes me feel physically sick to say that figure or even type it, I am ashamed and embarrased to have ever got to that size/weight. Even though I can't see much of a difference in the mirror, and I wish I could, there must be a big difference as I have lost over 2 Alex's in weight so far! The future still worries me with what to do with contraception and so on, as I know how badly it affects my weight, but I will have to deal with that when it comes to it. I still don't have normal monthlies as it is, so there is no point in even considering anything at this moment in time. For now I just want to keep going down the scales, for right now, at this moment in time, I still find it very hard to believe I will ever see 10 stone 1 - my BMI goal, or 9 stone 10 - my personal goal on the scales, as much as I really really want to.)

Updated and More Reasons to lose Weight

1. Make Chris Proud
2. Make family proud
3. Feel better in sleeveless or short sleeve top
4. Look ok in swimwear
5. Fit into designer clothing
6. Look better in pictures
7. Move attention from flab to figure
8. Live healthier life
9. Be able to run in a charity event.
10. Wear a wider style range of clothing (not just what fits)
11. Wear dresses/skirts with confidence
12. Be able to swim in public and not care
13. Reduce chances of getting bigger
14. Not feel awkward when clothes shopping
15. Increase chances of shops having your size in store
16. Walk along a beach on holiday and feel proud of your body in swimwear
17. Stop jiggling!
18. Like your own reflection
19. The smaller you are, the cheaper it is to get drunk lol
20. Walk up hills and not want to sit down half way up it
21. Sunbath in public
22. Buy lingerie without getting weird looks
23. When people start talking about weight loss, not to feel like they mean you
24. Make friends/family pleased that you are doing something about your weight, not just talking about it
25. Be happy to be photographed
26. Wear a bra that actually fits
27. Show off legs, not monstor ham thighs
28. Don't fear onset of summer clothing
29. Say weight out loud with pride
30. Help other overweight people who are in the same situation you where
31. Don't wonder if people are saying "Why is HE with HER?"
32. Go out in public and not care what looks you get
33. Wear a low cut sweater and show your collerbones
34. Wear shorts in the summer
35. Increase feelings of self worth
36. GET ON WITH LIFE AND ENJOY IT!!!

Post Holiday :)

Well again, time has taken over and I haven't had much chance to update my blog, but here goes.
Well I went away on holiday and did 810 calories for a week, came back and weighed in and lost 4 3/4lbs! Very very pleased with that. It takes me down to 13 st 7 1/2. So I'm about half way there now to my BMI and then probably about another 4lbs after that to the weight I'd like to be, to be comfy at, 9 stone 10 ish - I don't remember ever seeing 9 stone something on the scales, so it would be a shock to see it one day!
10stone 1 is my aim to hit my healthy BMI and is my first and biggest aim, 3 stone 7 1/2lbs to go for that, which after having 7 stone to lose, seems a lot lot less to go now, although still a long way to go.

Have a big family gathering for a sad event, to scatter my uncle's ashes in May, and would really like to shift another stone by then, if not a bit more would be nice, just to really give that shock factor to those people that I wont have seen since Xmas when I was that SHOCKING and HORRID 17 stone! :( NEVER EVER AGAIN !

My little boy alex has Gastroenteritis at the moment, so is really poorly, and I feel really sorry for him, hoping he will improve in the next few days. (get well soon little man, mummy loves you lots and lots!! xxxx)

A well needed update!

Well I guess I haven't updated for a while, not all that sure why, maybe I was still updated at the weight I was, maybe I just needed to "black out" a few of those figures. Whatever it was, I feel I am now coming to accept the weight I am, and hopefully the weight I am going to be.

As of today, the 9th March 2009 I have lost 2 Stone 9 1/4lbs and I now weigh 14 stone 4 3/4's - still not a pretty weight at all, but much better than my starting weight that's for sure.

I aim to go away and be 13 stone something and come back and be 13 stone something, and then fight down to the 12 stone's and beyond.

My clothes are much looser than they ever have been, my skin is better than it ever has been, and I feel fitter than I ever have been. I cannot and will not give up now. I just want to get to goal, and I want to, for once in my life, set a goal, and ACHIEVE my goal.

I want to stand on the scales and actually see the figures that I have set myself!

half way through week 2 plus w.i.

Well it's Friday - I should have posted on here on Monday but I was so down, I lost 1lb for the whole of week 2 and felt horrible :(

Well I didn't binge or come off it at all, if anything I've been even stricter if that's possible.

Scales today are not looking that great, and don't know why :( I know if the scales show a very small loss, or even a gain or STS on Monday I will be so disheartened, and from then that will make it harder to continue on.

I really want 3lbs+ though if I had 4 or 5lbs I would be very happy, going to have to really keep at it this weekend, as every type of food is calling to me. xx